Happy 2011. And I hope everyone had a stellar holiday season.
The new year brings new challenges, especially being the dad of a toddler. Can you say potty training? Sure.
My wife and I started 2011 by beginning to train our two-year-old daughter, Katie. Have we tried to make it fun? Yes. Have we been successful? No.
We just started, but why can't Katie get the routine down. I mean, she has been in this world for two years. You would think she would have picked up the exercise by now.
We have been keeping her on the baby potty for more than four minutes, but the bottom of the device has been as dry as the liver of a tea party Republican. Wait, maybe that isn't a good example. Doesn't Katie realize we are trying to save money on pull-ups and put the money into her college fund so some day she can attend a community college of her choice? Or maybe buy a 15-year-old vehicle of her liking?
We have been taking her to use the pot about every 45 minutes. The time adds up. Maybe we should start charging her for our time. What's the minimum wage? Eight bucks an hour? Heck, we would give her a break, make it $6.50, with Sunday being a free day.
That will teach her early that this parenting gig isn't cheap. But where will she get the money to pay us? Out of her college fund.
I guess a community-college education may be out of the question. And she can always get a bicycle for that job at McDonald's.